Posts Tagged ‘shame’

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Hey guys and girls, a slight rant or waffle if you will.

I start my days waking up and eating breakfast, showering and brushing my teeth, grooming and putting on products to make me smell nice, get dressed and then that is where your day and mine split. You go to work, I sit at home and switch on the computer. I load up the 15 or so sites for job hunting and I think of new and interesting ways to fill in application forms.

This is my second month of doing this now and I can honestly say that I have come very close to being homeless as I have accidentally spent more money on travel that I was meant to, that is if I have any money in the first place for travel. “Ummm the job center pay for travel you dickhead!” – Thank you random person that will no doubt not read my whole post but comment anyway. Yes they will pay for it, unless you cannot provide proof, or they don’t feel like it or they are having a bad day or they don’t remember to put it through the damn system. To put this into context I have the following make up this month;

£30 over draft, £25 phone bill, £323 rent.

Incoming is £134 twice in a month and £158 once.

dolestreet_1713190cSo take away that from that and you get £49. I have also rounded things up to make it easier. Now £49 for a month of food, toiletries, travel, any new items I should require, for instance new shoes for interviews, shirts, ties, you get the idea. In a world where a loaf of bread can be over £1 to buy I find myself on a diet primarily made up of pasta and something tinned, a diet that makes my body feel lack luster and dull. A body need fresh fruit and veg to function at it’s highest and it is RIGHT NOW I need to be on my “A” game. I’m all up for reducing money from not working, think it’s a good idea but they need to balance it a little. The money situation is now hindering me finding work, which in turn will probably mean I have to sponge off the state for longer, so the reduction in out of work income, in my instance, is useless as I will be taking from the state about as much as I would have been before the changes but now just over a longer time.

There are 100 jobs and 1000 people for each one looking down this way at the moment. Not so much Cardiff but Newport and Bridgend are both doing badly and they are either side of Cardiff and the competition is eminence. Cardiff is become saturated as is Bristol. I am having to look further a field to find work, which is fine, however when you consider that the closest city to me is Cardiff and is around a 8-15 mins train ride away and costs around £6 to get to and back from every single time I want to go there, it kinda makes a longer trip to a further away location either impossible or a toss up between food buying and an interview.

Ok. I get that “As of Q1 2013 UK government debt amounted to £1,377 billion, or 88.1% of total GDP” and that is bad. But you can’t make money, or in this instance get people back to work by simply making people poor. It makes it harder.Nillionaire someone having little to no money

Plus they made the changes for money in one go. so instead of gradually doing it over a year or 6 months so people flowed into work, they said HEY, 3 million people you won’t have enough money to live on unless you find work from……..

NOW GO GO GO. What the fuck did they expect?

My final ranty bit has to do with an E-mail I got yesterday from Mc Donalds. It was an email saying that I was unsuccessful in my attempt to work at one of their stores. I have a feeling it is to do with my age as the application form is not particularly taxing, with multi-choice answers for questions being presented, most of which are something along the lines of;

If an employee said something that offended you, would you, A) Beat the shit out of them. B) Put their face in the fry station or C) try and talk to them or your manager and see if something can be sorted out.

I feel that being in my 30’s now and looking for any type of job does have it’s downsides. I have traveled the world with the British Armed Forces, I’ve been back packing across Europe I’ve lived in Paris, I’ve been called all the names under the sun and I have made my mistakes. So as an employer you can expect someone of my age and up to call bullshit out. If something is wrong we will bring it up, bring it up in a polite and proper way, be that going to the manager to tell them of a leak or asking someone not to repeat something again as it is not appropriate for work etc etc. There lies the problem, they don’t want that, managers don’t want more work, they would rather employ an 18 year old who knows nothing of their rights, nothing of what is really right and wrong and will simply walk away if fired for no reason. I and many others of my “age bracket” and above simply could not and would not tolerate that.

6-things-to-consider-when-you-have-to-cut-back120412_0So to sumerise I feel that I am being put into a tared group of people that does not want to work, I want to work and I actively do everything in my power to do so, but in reality I have to pick and choose which interviews I go to some days, or ring them up and try and change the date and time to a day I am already in that city, mostly this results in me no longer being offered the interview as I am already kicking up a fuss about something that should be easy to do, a view that is sensible and reasonable but yet is something that is sometimes out of my reach to accomplish. Why employ someone when they can’t even travel 15 mins down the road on a given day? Will that person even be able to make it to work for the first month of employment? How reliable is this person if he/she cannot even commit to a simple interview without wanting to change the date and/or time.

I fully expect to not have that bottle of wine in the fridge, to eat cheaper food and to commit my days to filling in forms but when the current infrastructure put in place by the government hinders that, I can only see a prolonged usage of benefits. This money could well be spent on other things in our country, if not in employment or growth but in education, the NHS, maybe even employing someone with the balls to tell the US, “You know what? we are not joining you in this war, costs too much for no return”.

Anyway rant over of a very annoyed and increasingly stressed Phil.

 

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AS THE PICTURE SUGGESTS THIS BLOG POST CONTAINS SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! 

So the last blog post was me giving a quick over view of what has been going on in my life since I ‘went dark’ in September last year, these are things that I will write more about in the future. I do know a number of readers of this blog do like gaming articles and also rants that I do.  Now these types of posts are not going to end, in fact I hope to do far more, however I have had an unlimited Cineworld card  and I find myself watching a fair few films a month, so I thought why not do some reviews from my point of view of films I have seen.

6_out_of_10Now lets clear up something before I start my rant, I liked the film, I though the acting was great, the visual effects were amazing, the set designs and costumes, especially on Krypton are fantastically well done and the story was of good quality  I would rate the experience of watching the film as a 6 out of 10. In the next few paragraphs I will try to explain why this film should have been greater than it was.

That brings me nicely to my inevitable rant about Man of Steel, the latest instalment of the Superman franchise from DC Comic entertainment. A re-boot of the MAN-OF-STEEL-man-of-steel-33835377-1024-717franchise that I believe will start a bunch of films off for the Justice League charters, which will eventually combine into a Justice League film, hoping to cash in on the very popular Avengers franchise.  Now I was aware that this film was going to be a re-boot to Superman and was going to be a spring-board for more Superman films and to introduce the world to Henry Cavill as Superman. He plays the character very well and I believe he will make a fine Superman in the coming years.  The actors and actresses and their ability to act is not the problem with this film in my mind. The main problem is the feeling that this film goes on FAR too long, running at 143 mins (2 hours and 3 mins) you’re left feeling like it is a 3 hour plus trawl through the life and times of an almost dead species , the long story of Krypton’s  demise and the sending of Kal-El from his doomed home planet to earth is fairly well done and does not bore , even  if, like me you already know the story of Superman, it’s fact that the film seems to feel the need to baby step you to every single last revelation is the main problem. I know that he has difficult choices, Oh the film does not, here is another snap shot of his past, where as a child he had to hold onto his anger, had to hold on to the fact he is not human, the secret, the mystery, OK film I got it, thanks, Oh no, not finished eh? Yet another reference to THE SAME BLOODY THING AGAIN!

Not only does the film continually churn up the same problems that face Superman with a slightly different clip, it stays at that point in the film for far to long therefore making the film seem long-winded general zod man of steel-1and giving you a sense of ‘Get on with it’.  Possibly the worst part of the film where this is concerned is when General Zod announces to the world that he wants Superman or he will destroy the Earth, Superman surrenders to the human race and voluntarily joins Zod aboard his ship only to be drugged into a dream state, here Superman finds out Zod’s true plans to wipe out the planet Earth and rebuild a new Krypton on top its ruins…… A plot line set in motion when you are informed that Zod has a World Changer, a machine you are told about in the first 30 mins of the film AND later on is a terraforming machine, a WMD of biblical postpositions. Now I don’t know about you, but I didn’t think he had bothered to repair the world machine and bring it untold billions of light years through space for it to be referenced  half a dozen times and not used!   We get it, he is a bad guy.

That brings me on to the next gripe I had with the film, the long-winded action scene that you wait around 1 hour 50 mins for at the end of the film. Oh yes there are other action sequences , however they seem to blend into one, General Zods minions punch Superman, superman flies through several buildings, destroying part of a town, Superman then fights back, rinse and repeat.  After several mins of this Superman saves a human commander of the military forces that are fighting both Superman and Zods forces, the humans then  realise (in a painfully slow scene)  that Superman is a friend and not foe and hence the protection of earth with humans and Superman working together can begin. So now we are at the end, the big final scene, the world-changing machine is  starting to change the world, humans best efforts are useless against the impending doom and buildings fall down left right andworld-machine-destruction centre in the bustling city of New Yo…. sorry Metropolis. Without much effort Superman flies to the other end of the planet and destroys the world-changing device by basically believing he can, flies back to Metropolis and ends up destroying another portion of the city, possibly the same amount of damage done by the world machine by this point simply trying to beat up Zod, finally ending with Zods neck being broken by the mighty arm of Superman. Then that’s it, an end, seemingly uneventful death and end to a film that should have been much more. The whole build up to what this man was going to become is decided by one move by Zod,  the newly acquired powers of ‘laser eye’ try to kill a mother, father and two kids, Superman at this point decides that although he has probably killed hundreds of people by collapsing buildings in the battle between the two of them that this is the final straw, hardly an epic ending in my eyes.

Over all I felt that the film lacked a sense of pace and although I would not discourage anyone from watching it I would just say that I was somewhat disappointed with the end result.

So this is going to fairly quick and straight to the point as a lot has happened to me in the last week;  however all of it (apart from last nights massive piss up) has been within my new work and lets face it, unless you’re with me, there in work, you ain’t going to give much of a shit about the ins and outs of it lol.  It will just come across as boring twaddle. 🙂

So working for a company called Serco, a massive company spanning many world-wide locations and providing service for everything from the Large Hadron collider at CERN, the UK’s Interdependent Nuclear deterrent right through to looking after the parking meters in Chicago Illinois.  So where do I fit in? Well you know when you ring up for Littlewoods, Isme, Very or K&co to place an order, well you now have a chance to get through to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 🙂  Only inbound calls as I have a soul and cannot face doing cold calling ever again in my life!

So two weeks of training before I am let out to ravage the world of customer service and ordering, and I have to say that I have LOVED every minute of it.  The people in our group are all good-natured, great fun, mature when they need to be and all incredibly hard-working with a pinch of bat shit crazy in them all. It’s great I can feel myself around these people and I am considering them my friends as of now really. Just a great bunch of guys and girls that really do make you feel at home 🙂 On top of the great group I find myself in I also feel alive again, gone are the days of dullness, of sitting at home wondering where the next meal was to come from, gone is the worry, gone is the feeling of being completely useless, a rag-tag tramp of a man scraping through life in a gutter, no no no, ALL feelings washed away, I feel great, feel like I am part of something and have a passion to become better; a fire has defiantly been lit under my ass, propelling me skywards into the upper echelons of  greatness.  Now it has to be said that at the heart of all of these new and exciting feelings flooding my body, mind and soul at the moment is the training staff we have.  They simply make me smile when I walk in and see them, an awesome amount of respect goes of to our trainers but also a massive amount of fun is had with them too. Simply magnificent and I love the trainers and my group to bits.

And in other news….

So two bits of news away from working is the somewhat devastating fact that I have lost the court battle to see my son. Sadly my own father (Now know as “Who the fuck are you, piss off”) testified against me and this has given the social services the ammunition they needed to tip the whole thing in their favour. I had this news the Friday before I started at Serco so I have not really had time to properly think through this,  maybe I am just hiding from it a little as it has totally destroyed my hopes and brought my worst fears right up in front of me as far as this situation goes. I have been given permission to send him 3 letters a year, Christmas, Easter and his Birthday, 3 letters for a child I looked after for the best part of 2 years. All I can do is work my ass off, pay of this court debt of 4k and save for the next try. 3rd of October is when I and my legal team will retract our wish for my right to see Seth officially.

That shitty news brings me to my last point (a little more smiles in this one)

I have started another blog up at http://foryouseth.wordpress.com/ for my Son Seth. This will be updated on a semi regular time frame. I have had no time what so ever to come to terms with me not seeing my son until he is in his teens but I have had today to know that I need to preserve something for when that day comes. After 13 years of not knowing me I need something for him, something he can read about me and my life just in case he does not want to talk to me in person and I think that will be a great idea.  You’re all more than welcome to read it although it is only really aimed at a person years down the line from now.

Anyway just so you lot don’t end up sad reading this I have added this picture. Any time you feel down, just remember things can always be worse…..

 

So hey guys and girls, a little break from typing this blog due to a catastrophic lack of common sense on my part while cocking around with the PC.  So after a few days of no PC working at all, many hours with a good friend Neil and some slightly frustrating time with Ubuntu and a wireless connection I am back up and running.

So PC is now running a partitioned, 50/50 dual boot with Win7 and Ubuntu.  To be perfectly honest the only, and I mean only reason I don’t use Ubuntu for my desktop and leave Windows out to dry is because I play PC games, mostly through Steam and that sadly does not work yet, however there are words from Gabe himself that Steam will be hitting Linux, and hitting it soon.  This in my book is an awesome step forward with Linux and gaming and also strengthens other ties Linux has with gaming, such as the very very popular Humble Indie Bundle which as of today, (please note it has just over 4 days left at the time of writing) has made over 4.2 Million USD. That’s Windows, Linux and Mac compatible, pay what you think for some games set-up, that is proving to the world it is possibly time to think a little more about Mac and Linux users.

Now I have to say I am not one of those anti Windows people, personally I don’t care what you use and what you use it for, however the ease and smoothness of use that Linux gives you after the initial faff around of getting a few bits and bobs working is sublime, if you think something should be accessed via a right click there or a slide over here or whatever then it is usually the case, as intuitive as the first Iphone was and as up-to-date as any modern PC OS it really does amaze me that Linux and in my Case Ubuntu has not got to this stage quicker.  Change is coming however and baby steps as it might be, it is steps in the right direction.

Many people forget or are not aware that Linux servers are a massive player in the world market and you possibly already use a web service running from a Linux run server. Also in September 2008 Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer admitted that 60% of web-servers run Linux versus 40% that run Windows Server.[86]. So this Linux “thing” as some put it is not going anywhere, only going to get bigger and better 🙂 

Also headlining my thoughts recently has been the release of Windows 8. A very pretty, colourful display I can see working very nicely on a tablet or large screened phone but useless as a desktop operating system.  It has made the perfectly easy aspects in Windows into a chore, for example the having of two applications or windows open side by side at the moment on Windows 7 is as easy as pulling each window to the side of the screen, one left, one right,  it automatically snaps them into a 50/50 split on the screen, alternatively you can press the Windows key and the direction you want the windows via the arrow keys, simple.  Not so simple with Windows 8 as demoed in this video. It even has restrictions on size of resolutions and limiting it to only 2!  ,

Apart from this, the whole experience of using it for me was pathetic, it failed to deliver a proper desktop experience and was confusing to use, finding an item usually easily found by start then searching via the bar at the bottom is now clumsy and all over the place.  Pictures, for example now have this annoying way of just showing you one at a time which you then scroll through, adding of items if not dragging them and dropping is more complicated and even finding an app to use from the Metro interface can be a little annoying. With all the bright colours and different shaped boxes it is easy to be stuck staring at the screen not able to see the button you want to press..  There is an easy way to change the shape etc of the boxes but this for me would just mean a wall of brightly coloured boxes all one size which still would not help me at all, however it would be lovely on a tablet with a screen as big or bigger than an Ipad as it lends itself very well to a touch screen device.  I fail to see what the hell MS were thinking with this utter tosh.  So this radical change by Microsoft in my opinion will see them push away existing customers towards Mac and Linux, especially since MS are going to put this Windows 8 OS (if you can call it that) into all new computers, so you won’t even have a choice!  I sense that companies such as Dell will do what they did with the god awful Vista and offer customers the option to have the previous Windows installed rather than the new, which in this case would be Windows 7.

So what of the rest of my time away, well as stated in a previous post I am not playing on the Xbox 360 at all and find it harder and harder not to sell the darn thing. I have actually rounded up all my games and sold them on as they were just money sitting around doing nothing and money these days is not easy to come by.  So now I am plodding through the Humble bundle on Linux and Anno 2070 and Fallout 3 on Windows side of things.  Minecraft still playing heavily in my gaming time which ironically runs the 64 bit version of Java better on Ubuntu than it does on Win7, go figure!

Sadly I have not had any new news on the job front but I continue everyday, ever alert to the call to action (Think I might be turning into Banana man!). But hey any jobs going out there in the South Wales area, that’s the original wet Welsh South Wales not the Wales anywhere else 🙂 please gimmie a shout 🙂

Welcome but be warned this one is going to be a rant!

So this 3D bug that is and has swept through the world, why?  Have the games and film industry really run out of ideas for new content already that they are now throwing any gimmick at us to try and make us believe their film or game is better?  Well it doesn’t do that for me and an increasing number of my friends who are stepping away from it.

So lets touch on games first and how I believe it could have bought the “Phantom” Menace of 3D back (See what I did there 🙂 ) . So a little time ago there was the PC and the consoles (In the home anyway). The PC typically used to be between 3-5 years ahead of the consoles in performance, graphics and a bunch of other boring criteria.  This meant that if you looked at what the top end PC was running a game like say Crysis at you could surmise that the next-gen of consoles would probably be running close to, or slightly over that, great!. This went on for some years until the PC stopped getting hugely better, now don’t get me wrong the PC still kicks the pants off of the consoles, for example take BattleField 3, Once you play with 64 people on a 1080p battlefield of awesomeness it is hard to go back to playing blocky 24 player games with the cast of Minecraft.  However the rate at which graphics has moved on has slowed dramatically over the past few years and this is when 3D reared its ugly head. This happened in movies and made a push on to games and in particular marked the creation of the 3DS.To me the slow down in advancements in the gaming industry and the PC market as a whole affected the movie industry no end, an industry now so used to being able to throw together a bad script, expensive actors and a shed load of brand new CGI to “wow” the audience, now found it’s self without a huge advancement in technology to go on. So the men (and women) at the top did what?  Well in my mind they bought back a relic of the past, a long since tried and failed technology from the 70’s jazzed it up a bit and decided “That’ll do”,  3 bloody D.

So this sounds like a right go at the movie industry right now with no positives, “bloody grumpy git” you’re probably all crying but it’s not all bad.  I enjoyed a number of films in recent years, it has to be said not as much as films from the 70’s, 80, and 90’s but there have been a few flashes of brilliance here and there but, (and this is the important bit), none, not one single movie I have watched in 3D has ever been improved by the 3D.  The 3D is not even noticed by most I ask about it, if it is then it is to complain of how the person has now got a headache.  The 3D element seems to fade out of your mind after the first 15 mins of a film,  the most “enjoyment” (If you can call it that) from the whole 3D experience is had from a few trailers, adverts and the THX animation before the film has even started.  For me it feels as though it is a cop-out, a failure to advance an art form further with story, twist,shock or even by trying to push the boundaries of taste, no it slipped nicely into the false belief of, if it makes money it’s good enough.

“Don’t watch films in 3D then you idiot!” is what I am sensing from readers right now, easier said than done my friend, for the 2D showings of a film are so few in number and at such inappropriate times that it is becoming harder and harder to see a film without it being in 3D. Just to add also for a little comic relief I look like a complete idiot with glasses over glasses when I go to the cinema. I am lucky I am in a dark room of fear of shame lol. So it is with great sadness that I find myself visiting the cinema less and less as friends and family do the same, removing themselves from the 3D fad and also hoping that it is a fad that dies out sooner rather than later.

I think I have gone on about the virtues of 3D and why I disprove of it long enough now that I think I will leave the 3DS and it’s mind hurtingly odd 3D madness to another post and another time.

Yes that’s right it’s my old friend Linux. I tend to like to use Ubuntu for my day-to-day processes on my PC as it gives me something to tinker with, gives me a far nicer experience than Win7, which I dual boot and it is beautifully customizable, add this together with an awesome community that are always there to help and you have something of a dream Operating system AND its all free!

Catch? Yea there is always a catch and last night for the first time I found one in Ubuntu. Now I have not had Ubuntu installed since the hard drive burn out of 2011, both hard drives decided to give up the ghost and I lost everything, so I thought I would smack it back on again and see what was what with the new incarnation – Ubuntu 12.04 LTS, nice shiny and new. For the love of god I spent the best part of 6 hours writing in code after code in the terminal!

I enlisted the help of not one, not two but THREE people in the know from Ubuntu’s IRC chat channel #Ubuntu, which incidentally can be found here http://www.ubuntu.com/ then Support tab, also read articles from http://omgubuntu.co.uk and several other sites and followed every instruction to the T, unfortunately not one method could come up with a solution to why my wireless card makes Ubuntu freeze up and crash!

Well after 3 full reinstalls of Ubuntu 12.04, one complete install of 11.04 and one of 10.04, wasting the time of a bunch of very kind people in the community and a shed load more tinkering we finally decided………………………………………………

it could not be done :(. So for any budding Linux have a goers, please please please check your wireless card or USB will work with you favoured Linux OS before you go out and buy a new one!.

To cheer myself up I’ll end the post with this ———>