Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

1347326484043_2349781Welcome to my little ranty world. Today’s subject is a little education for when you have been let down by a company or feel you are entitled to more, or are simply being an asshole for no reason and think it is ok to take it out on a companies staff…….

Well are you wrong!

Now I have been and still am working in inside a call centre, taking calls for a multi national company that in the UK produces and supplies energy and covers peoples boilers, plumbing and drains, electrical wiring, central heating systems and also emergency service cover as standard.

9781137293251_largeNow it does not matter what industry you work in, you will not get any bloody where by being a complete twat!  You know why you’re so angry all the time? Why you feel so disappointed by company after company and why no one seems to understand your poor little life? I’ll tell you why…. because you piss off every last person you talk to in business, from the poor little waitress that you shout at because there is no spoon for your coffee, to the flight attendant you ridicule because they forgot your pillow.  Your reactions, your attitude is the reason they forgot to give you the service others get, your stinking, shitty attitude is the reason why you won’t get the compensation you are so sure you’re  owed! Your attitude is why the customer service agent does not seem to give a shit about you, your reactions and your actions are the reason why we simply don’t care as much about you as the polite people.  It’s rather simple, so why can you not grasp such a simple concept?

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Oh, and get me the boss, WHY? Is the boss going to bring his master computer over and make your life a better place? Has he/she instructed me to tell you lies until you pass all my well hidden tests and then you’re allowed to the special slots now made available by the bosses computer.  It’s a gold laptop that links directly with god to deliver you with the best service possible, oh, yes the boss can call upon the the Fucking Avengers and bring you the service you require right this minute rather than the tomorrow appointment I have already given you!

BOSSES KNOW LESS ABOUT THE SYSTEMS THAN THE AGENT DOES! Trust me ALL the boss is there to do is bug the agent about ACW (After call work) time, sort out problems with pay, book our holiday and tell us the sales targets went up another 2%. THAT’S IT.

“I know the CEO of [for arguments sake] Sony, see what he/she has to say”

Oh really mister customer, REALLY?!  So your download is not working and you will pick up the phone to the CEO, a person probably over the other side of the world, possibly speaking to world leaders, possibly in a meeting to secure a multi billion pound deal with several countries, and THEY ARE GOING TO STEP OUT TO MAKE SURE YOUR PESKY LITTLE PROBLEM IS SORTED? Good luck with that.  How can you be that thick? How has your life continued to be with a mind so dull?

Don’t even get me started on you morons that state you’re going to the press…. please, be my guest. Oh before you do, that welcome pack with all the T&C in, the one you ASSURED us you had read by agreeing to {insert product here}, yeah, perhaps you want to read it!  You know that there are editors for a reason, right?! You honestly think we are that thick that throwing out a newspapers name or dropping in that you work for the BBC is anyway shape or form going to help you when I have already told you 4 different ways that the next appointment is MONDAY!

“It’s retired Major Jenkins actually”

i_have_a_phd_in_horribleness_-_dr_horrible_vinyl_decal_9ecd4a17Fuck off! Your name is Mr Jenkins, you’re retired now, you hold the rank of ‘Get in line and wait with the rest of the population’.  That also goes for you DR Whatever s out there……… Why the hell would you think I would give a flying that you’re a doctor. Plus you know I have no idea of what you’re actually a doctor of, right? This show of bullshit only reinforces the belief that you’re a complete cock.

Plus if you really want to piss ME off why not just lie, what not tell me THAT YOUR CHILD IS AT RISK only for me to check up the next day and find the engineer got there, found NO CHILD, NO ELDERLY, NO ONE VULNERABLE at all, told you that you were scum (wishful thinking), turned off the water supply/gas supply to make it safe then left you in the shitty position that you deserve while they went off to an actual emergency down the road with a real 2 day old kid without heating, you rotten, scummy, worthless human beings!

The people I speak of above just a few in the vast majority of people that are polite, reasonable and kind, and for that I am hugely grateful. Always remember that the services person, man, woman transsexual, gay, straight, black, white, purple with yellow dots, they are all humans, they are all trying their best.  Now if you are the angry type let it be known that all of us polite folk have a far better life, we are generally treated as we treat others, so please continue to wail, to moan, to frail your arms in the air and shout, so that all can hear, please continue your shitty ways and enjoy your food with spit in, enjoy your pillow that been wiped on a dogs arse, enjoy your second class experiences and enjoy missing out on all the extras the polite, decent and happy people enjoy. By simply rising an issue in a calm, polite manner you will always get a better response.be-nice-300x187

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And welcome back one and all.

So as promised to myself and you it is the weekend and I have been adding to this all week and now it is ready 🙂 So lets re-cap on where we left in the last post

So I have made the choice to take the long shot, turn down a job and go for the harder to get, longer to achieve job that I felt in the long-term would provide me with more of a future than the small cafe that I was guarantee a job in.

So we return to the action as I walk into the college in Bridgend town on a Friday afternoon some 2 weeks ago now, nervous and sweating and slightly out of breath I look down at my watch to find I am 40 mins early! I approach the information desk to a woman who seemingly knows nothing at all of the course, further more cares even less that  I am even there let alone in need of assistance. Instead of calling for help she suggests I try G block as that (and I quote) “Has lot of computers, n has people in it”. Thanks for nothing, try smiling next time too!

I enter G block and quickly find my room; a tall man with a friendly face looks down on me as I introduce myself as Phill, shaking his hand and finding out his name is Max I ask if he needs help with the tables he is moving around, accepting my help with a slight grin we set about making the room ready for the others, other people who will be in this story just for the beginning, some just on odd days and a few whom I now consider friends slowly start to walk in.

Everyone of the people now sitting around me are all unemployed, all looking a little unimpressed and all weary of each other, each probably wondering what the next is, “Is this really worth our time”.  In walks Max from popping outside and announces that we start this course on a Friday as it helps keep people to come back on Monday; quick speaking,  full of jest and right to the point, I got the distinct feeling that this was a guy telling the truth, a guy who could be a good laugh but says it how it is, a guy I can really relate to. As the day progresses we get taught about the company, about what we will do and what the company does, what we will be doing through the course and how much fun it will be.  These explanations are absorbed by all but as the questions for him are opened up to the floor the look goes around the room to each other, who is going to ask the question? Who is it going to……. “Is this only inbound call centre job or do with have to ring people and bug them?” asks a man I now know as Marc. Without  missing a beat Max reassured us that this is inbound only, proper customer service and not sales, “Well now I am in” I thought to myself.

We wrap up and prepare for the next two weeks after we meet Jo, our tutor for the course.

After the weekend we go back to the course and as expected  fewer people have shown up, those that are remaining  range from the loud and brash [Like me] to the shy and introverted.

Over the next week we learn to come out of our shells, or in the case of some (Yes I was one) to control that urge to make the silly joke at the wrong time. We learn to write how Serco want, talk like Serco want and produce a CV like a Serco professional, all of this paperwork is then done, dusted and sent away over the week ready for the second week of  team building exercises.  Over the week we all got close and 2 times had a few drinks and a good laugh in the local pub. Melding together as a unified and structured unit we felt ready for the challenges of the next week.  Well were we ready for the second week?!  Blazing through it and having so much fun whilst doing it that we totally forgot what this was all for, totally forgot the importance of a job, of money, of a normal life once more, a life devoid of counting pennies to eat, a life without fear of being reduced to nothing but a shell of a man walk, sleeping and living on the streets.

The second week was a wash with colour, presentations and nerves of standing up amongst ourselves and presenting something we had contributed to, I was told to be a little less the leader as I started to storm in front of some others and my natural leader/people person persona oozed through, growing in confidence every day. Urged on by this new-found lust for life I continued to excel at  mostly all of the exercises and in fact have just written something that you have just this min read that is all about bigging me up, a trait that the British seem to hate doing, we far prefer to self deprecate rather than stand up strong and proud and yell “I am fucking awesome”.  This trait has only really been taught to me in the last 2 weeks and I will continue to use and cherish this part of me as why the hell not, I am amazing and you know what, so are YOU!

So having bought my A game, smashed the 2 weeks open with a sledge-hammer I get to Friday, the day of the first interview. The interview is on the phone and has to take place in a dimly lit library which is only acceptable via an elevator as it is not meant to be being used at all. One by one the people go down and come up with tails of how nice and relaxed it is, how easy they found it thanks to the course and how I and others will “breeze through it”. Well nerves at a maximum I take my seat and wait for my turn the phone rings and a sense of relief comes over me as an attractive sounding 20 something voice gently asks what my name is; over the next 15 to 20 mins my mind is a blur with questions about my past, present and future, about the company and how I deal with different situations.  A giggle here, a giggle there and I realise I am flirting a little with the interviewer, something I always end up doing in person as that is just me but now is such a huge relief to be happening now that I let out an audible sigh of relief  which I quickly explain is not me passing wind but rather the tension and stress of what I thought this experience to be ebb away.  After what I can only describe as a nice chat I put the phone down, let my body relax and slide down the seat into a heap of relaxation and thankfulness that this ordeal is now over; picking myself up from the seat and heading back upstairs I cannot wait for the outcome the next day, the final word on whether I am through to the next stage of interviews or like so many others will slip back down into the gutter of society to never been seen again by employer eyes.

Well the time came and went, booze at the local pub was drunk and all had a good time, no phone call in sight! How well had we all done? Did I get through? Did I manage to secure myself through to the second and last stage of the interview process?

Find out next wee………………….. Na only shitting you, YEA I DID!  Smashed it. Then a week later I smashed the interview in Cardiff ; two days later finding out by Phone that I got the job.  Not only did I get the job I was put in for the second tier, so I am fast tracked through into my personal pole position and right off the bat I earn more an hour than the others! I could not be happier!  The guy on the other side of the phone had to wait as I literally shouted down the phone “THANK YOU SO MUCH”, with a giggle and a “You’re welcome” we each put down our phones, him to continue working and me to loudly (and badly) sing while jumping around the house with a little air guitar thrown in too.

So that’s what has been going on. I sit here writing  to you now 8 days away from starting a brand new job, starting a brand new life and I have so many ideas, so many good things I want to do and so many memories of awesomeness to conjure up over the coming years in this new career. The last year of being selfish and only thinking of myself and my Son have finally started to pay off, finally started to get me out of this rut, finally less than 6 months away from total bankruptcy I find myself in floods of happy tears, jumping around the house butt naked, singing……

Know that this job is not for nice things, not for a better living for me really, it’s all about things that matter, things that you can’t buy, experiences that I and other are missing out on. I can buy the new TV and nice couch after more important things have been done.  Next on my list is pay off debt and continue to fight for my son, I have a well paid job, I can soon afford to throw money at the best lawyers and start the fight back at my ex, to smash her useless defence to the ground and regain what is right, what is needed and what is the best for my son.

Stay tuned,  in a short time you will see me hit maximum momentum that not even the ugliest, twisted and utterly bullshit defence lawyers will be able to stop. God help any mofo that gets in my way now that phase one of  Operation “Life back” has been completed 😀

Awesome times are coming I can feel it already.