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lies 2Hey ho everyone, so not been around since I have not really had anything to write about or actually more to the point, I have had ideas but at 3am then forget about them in the morning. So here is my thoughts on jobs I’ve had.

Sat here this morning with a coffee and 3 weetabix, I’m a big boy now. I am jigging around my CV and re-uploading it to all the job sites, as I am re-witting my CV and remembering all the jobs I have had from the CV and those jobs that are not on the CV’s, you know the ones, the ones you walk in on day two and go, “Fuck no” I came to realise that every single last job I have had, no matter how long it has lasted has basically involved lying to people on a daily basis!  I scanned through my brain again, selecting every job I can remember and wrote them down, this is what I came up with.

lies1Blue chip gas company – Would take phone calls from people that had a faulty boiler and book them a repair. Would regularly have to lie to say that the engineer was on his way, NO idea if he was or was not. Many of them didn’t answer their phones and although many people are told they a traceable, lies again. Which then leads me on to the times when you do get hold of the engineer and for whatever reason he/she is not going to that address, do you tell the customer the truth, HELL NO, saying that you physically don’t know why it’s not gone through the system when it shows it has is apparently the last thing you should do, best to keep it as complicated as possible so the customer has little to no chance of keeping up with your utter made up, on the spot bullshit.

Shop assistant – You know there are no size 15 shoes as you don’t stock them but because you don’t like the way the customer asked, the way they look or just want a sneaky chat out back, you go and have a “look” anyway. Also the good old, “There should be a delivery of those tomorrow”, LIES. The overall manager of the store does not know what items will be in stock and when, the big trucks arrive several times a day and get put into storage, to be honest customer, it could have just arrived and be hidden behind 20 other pallets of stuff (I have no way to check other than to pull them all out, not happening) or it might never come back in, I sure as hell don’t know but I’ll smile and say, “Try back tomorrow”, basically you’ll pick a day you’re not working that week.

Working with food – For a start not saying “This is a place that sells dead animals in buns around the world but you still ask for the vegetarian option, are you seriously in need of help?” is probably something I should not say so I lied and said that there might be other options in the future. Maybe let that one slide.
lies 3Customer asks if the item has an ingredient in it, do you check, well yes as there are nutrition and ingredient sheets that you can refer to, right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa nope. Just cause the law says there has to be and that they should be easily accessible to the customer you’ll be hard pressed to find one, so lies again. “No it does not contain xyz” you’re pretty sure and anyway if the guy dies your boss told you to say it, COOOOVVVEEERRD.

This goes on and on and on from everything I have done. Are we so afraid that simply saying, “I don’t know” is somehow bad. You don’t know, you’ll never know, in many cases there is no need or way for you or anyone else that you can contact to know the answer for the customer, so say that. Lies have become just part of everyday life, they are in every customer to business phone call you ever make they are at the restaurant when you ask, “I know it says these sides are not changeable but can I change them and still stay in the deal?”  NO, the answer is NO! Why walk past the other table of people waiting and pretend to ask the chef then come back with, “I’m sorry the CHEF said no can do!!!” Stop wasting my time.

lies4I understand computers do everything now and I understand that I’ll order something and the person I talked to did everything fine but the computer just decided that my order was the one order that it was not going to process properly, so just say, “It’s not going to be with you today, Phill, would you like me to re-order it?”  Offer me my delivery charge back and put it special delivery or offer to send it to a works address etc, DO NOT look at the screen in silence where it has a huge “Not a chance in hell today chap”,  written across the screen and say, “The computer says it’s out for delivery” and waste my sodding day.

We now live in a world that reads and clicks on such bullshit as, “You’ll never guess what happened to these 25 people when they met a ghost” and that still inexplicably read newspapers and take what they write as truth, even though it has been proven time and time again that news agencies get the truth printed about as many times as the weatherman gets it correct, and where every person seems so concerned about saying NO or saying “It’s not coming, we don’t have it, I don’t know” it drives me crazy. Some call it giving people hope, softening the blow. WHY? If your new TV that you’ve been waiting in for is not going to come today tell them, if they cancel the order because of that then so be it, it’s a consumers rights, and not your problem. Part of you company fucked up, admit it, maybe consumers would trust in corporations if their staff where not actively told to lie to customers on a daily basis which from my experience you are told to do every day.

Rant over guys.

See you next time 🙂

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helpI have come to the conclusion that I am not doing great. I live in a town which likes to call itself a city, it’s what I imaging Gotham City would be like if real, but on a smaller scale. It’s streets are strewn with rubbish, the drug dealers deal out of houses day and night right around the corner from a Police station. Most of the people that live here seem to be connected with the drugs, selling or buying however as always there are always those that brighten the place up, good people that also don’t deserve to be in a place like this and as much as this sound snobbish, I don’t don’t deserve this either.

So now comes on to the real problem. I’am a shadow of my former self, I am isolated, desperate and realising that I am actually damned if I am going to let this go on any more, now the problem with this is that I have nothing, I strive to live and that’s it. No frills living is no life at all. I eat the same meal almost every day, I see only these four walls and my computer with rejection after rejection emails from jobs saying, thanks but no thanks, I mean, you don’t even have a phone! A sad fact that I don’t, I am in such a rut that it’s now impossible for me to make any headway and that is where I have finally realised that I need help, help before a doctor sees me and puts me on some medication to “make me feel better” which I have already said no to. I don’t do tablets and I down right refuse to take tablets for something caused by my current living situation, from the non stop cars pulling up for next doors deals on small plastic bags filled with god knows what, to the shouting of the drudged and drunk idiots that adorn my street from 11am until 5am, believe me, I know, I’m usually awake, or have been woken up every 30 mins or so, every night, almost every day for what seems like a lifetime.

So I tried to do something about it, I got the job, I paid off all but one credit card, I worked hard I……………. didn’t get selected to become a full time member of the team as the job was temp, so I hustled down and got another job, hated it even more, call centre work, basically working for the devil, soul destroying as it is and when that ended I did it again, however I never managed to make the temp jobs work for me as I was always on the back foot, always had something else to pay for and when I had almost climbed that mountain, when I could see the potential to put a plan into place to move out of these four walls and back home, back to where I know people care for me, back to where I can get back on my feet, get a decent nights sleep, eat more than one meal a day and feel happy again it all came crumbling down and I woudl start again, and again, and again and each time it would be for less hours, or for a shorter time and each time I lost a little more ground. Then the tablet was sold, the TV, the phone the holes appeared in my shoes and I still wear them, I have no choice, I eat and pay rent or I get new shoes.

So the cycle continues and I can’t do it any more, I have nothing left to give either metaphorically or in actual assets to sell. I stand here at the precipice looking up, but there is no end, there is no top, even if I could scale this rock face all over again, where would it get me? So I have to do more drastic measures so I set up a plea for help, embarrassingly putting me into a position of begging others to help me out financially. I have used GoFundMe.com to set up a plea to everyone and anyone to help me get the spring board I need to get out of this situation. I don’t expect this to be easy and moving back home will not fix all of the problems but that’s where my support structure is, where I can get help and where I belong.

If you would like to help out or would simply be kind as to share this link: http://www.gofundme.com/xx7yrr8g it would be massively appreciated. Now I set the limit high so……….actually not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad one. I have never done this before.

Thank for reading this, well plea for help more than anything. Thanks for reading.

hate_you_allSo this is a rather strange subject to come back in on, however it been something that has been annoying me for sometime now, also increases more over time.

Now I am fully aware that this may sound like a rant of an old man, devoid of all love and life and of a person that hates other peoples happiness. Nothing could be further from the truth, I still watch those kittens/puppy videos and pretend I have something in my eyes, even though I am the only one in the room, I still genuinely give birthday wishes and congratulations to achievements earned and really do smile from ear to ear like a floating invisible cat.

To be a little more precise I just hate this way that humans are kind, clever, smart, learning machines full of so much hope and joy, so much faith and promise but seem to throw that all away at the drop of a hat. Throw it away not over something important but at a comment made on a video, a dismissive jest made on Facebook and as I read more and more of these pointless, soul destroying, humanity killing arguments I wonder where our species is going, it cannot be to that science fiction utopia that has been drawn, written about and depicted in so many films and games. Well it won’t be when one cannot even state that they like jam more than marmalade and receive death threats for it.

someone_is_wrong_on_the_internet1246485981Every single damn thing in this virtual world now seems to be so angry, so confrontational, so utterly devoid of any and all emotions apart from hate. For gods sake I read a comment the other day about how a woman should be shot! Yes SHOT because she was singing to a song they didn’t like. When was this ok? When did people pretend SO hard not to care about anything in the world what so ever? I mean we all feint a comic nonchalant stance now and again but this seems to be more than that, it seems to be hatred at a level that is just accepted. It’s now something that is part of life, I know I now deliberately avoid 99% of things that are written in comments as to not see the vile, incomprehensibly evil and cowardly writings that many think are just part and parcel of being alive at this time in our “evolution”.

With teenagers now being arrested and spending time in jail because of stalking people on-line and SWATTING them, oh and if you don’t know what swatting is, it’s telling the police that someone has killed, are going to kill or are at least armed and the swat team, or your countries equivalent will obviously enter your house with extreme prejudice, usually while people are streaming their games on a service like Twitch just for kicks. FUCK, come on, really can I be the only one that thinks that this is going a little far?! I find it hard to believe that in a world so full of people that all I can find on the internet is hatred towards other people and for what? So that your point of view can then be picked apart and so that you can have an argument with another person?

Is there a secret sociaty and life achievments to get as many people to hate you as possible? To get more than 5 people upset with you, to maybe try and be racist, sexist and make someone consider ending their life because of your constant on line bulling all in one week? I could at least understand the human need to complete things and to challenge themselves if that was the case, alas I very much doubt it. I fond myself writting this little rant and sighing to myself, feeling very low about the state of peoples minds these days and wondering if maybe things were always like this and it’s just me getting older and noticing it, or, and I think this is far more likely, people seem to think that the internet is anonymous and they won’t get found out.

Either way what do you think? Is it just me getting older or are things really getting out of hand?

Oh and since this is a very sad rant about sad sad things here is a happy happy picture 🙂
puppies-and-kittens-pictures

DeletedHello one and all.

Yes, yes please do not remind me that I promised to myself and everyone that does read this that I would update this weekly, I have no excuses apart from pure laziness and bad time/life management.

So the topic of today’s update is my horror at losing a job opportunity because of Facebook, or more precisely the pictures and comments on my Facebook account.

So I had to leave my last job with CEX as they run a 6.5% rota based on what was made in the previous 4 weeks takings. Now this is an average, so you CAN spend 25% of all takings on week one but by week four the average spend across the 4 weeks has to be 6.5% of taking spent on staff. This poses a problem if the store is not doing so well one month as the hours available are limited and this resulted in me not actually earning enough money to pay rent, and as much as it pains me to say this, I was actually better off on benefits for the time being.  A pathetic omission and a pathetic truth of a person living in a first world country having to do this to survive, sad times indeed, however I digress.

Job Interview DateSo I had several interviews for a claims handler with Admiral. The job was office based, going through case files and working out liability on car crashes. I presented well enough on the application and hour long phone interview to be selected on the final stage of the interview process, a trip to Cardiff to their offices and a one to one meeting with the managers. This interview also seemed to go well too. Then Facebook happened…..

I received an e-mail informing me that I was unsuccessful in my attempt and to thank me for my time etc etc. A very nice touch that although automated, is something that very few companies seem to do these days and I was very appreciative to have this sent through. Within this E-mail was a number to call to get feedback, now as a huge supporter of feedback I gave them a call and had a little chat. As I thought I did rather well in the interview but I repeated a few things to answer questions however they said that was not the reason for not being able to continue with the process, when I asked what it was they stated that as part of the hiring stage they look for online activity and that unfortunately my Facebook account was not up to scratch.

Now I was taken back by this, I mean it is my personal account, my digital life. I tried to explain that a picture of me drunk is what goes on to Facebook, the million snapshots throughout someones life of them simply getting on with washing, chatting on the phone sleeping, walking to the shops and buying bread is not what makes an entertaining picture, I mean who wants to see that? However they stated that because of those pictures I was portrayed as someone whom would not fit the the high standards of the company. Again I tried to argue my case that in actual fact I was tagged in a total of 74 pictures from 5 friends, all from one night out, not as it seemed 74 times drunk or even 5 times drunk, just that everyone has a smart phone these days and they snap, making it look like a person does something more than they do, explaining that I had not actually even been “out” for almost a year before these pictures were taken. Sadly their minds had been made up by this point, I thanked them for their time and ended the call.

14 days“So what to do now?” I thought to myself. Well deleting Facebook had to be done. I had posted that I would delete it 2 weeks previously but had been talked out of it, but this time there was no warning, I searched the internet for how to permanently delete Facebook and found the link to do so, in the cheek of it all Facebook requires 14 days of no activity to delete an account. I feel that as so many things are connected to Facebook, this blog posting included, that I could easily stop that process by simply accidentally pressing a button on my phone or other account with a Facebook linked account on it, a sneaky move indeed. I have now set about making sure this does not happen as I am now more determined to get rid of this plague once and for all.

This has me so upset rather than angry, I hate that we now live in a world where this can happen, that I can be misrepresented by my friends, not that it is their fault you understand, no they saw me dancing badly, drunk and took a pic. If anything I could argue that most of the pictures are not flattering to either my dancing ability or my poddgy belly but past that I can’t blame them.

So I sit here, typing away and ranting as I simply don’t know where to go from here. It was a good job, with good pay. It was something I really did need, something I wanted to do and I job I could see myself being promoted in, earning decent money and thriving in. Sadly that is not the case and although after the phone call I simply stared at the wall for almost 2 hours feeling utterly terrible with life, I have to pull myself together, I have no other choice. I owe so much money now and it’s not something that will go away easily. So onward I fight, onward I push and I guess I jump into one of those, “Take a million phone calls a day” kinda jobs and head down, try not to look to miserable with it and sort this mess out.

Anyway that cannot be the ending as it is far to glum, and I’m not glum, I’m chubby, arrogant and I voice my opinions but I am not as depressed as this post may come across. I will continue to fight and to try hard, continue to push and continue to write on here as this has been very helpful tonight in releasing some of headache and stress into writing.

So what do you think? Should employers be able to deny you a job because of Facebook, should they be able to advise you to not write something on social media? Is it right or is it wrong, or is it a case that I should have set my FB to private?

What do you think?

Hey there everyone this is just a quick update for those of you that care what is going on in my tiny life at the moment 🙂

So as the title would suggest I think (fingers, toes, legs and everything else crossed) things are on the up. As previously mentioned in The Job Centre is a joke post I got some help with my CV and I dished it out to some businesses in my local town; week later and I get a call for an interview on the same day. I drop everything and make it to the coffee shop I am to be interviewed in, I’m looking dapper; clean-shaven, smartly dressed, perfect hair and a massive COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMEE OOOOOONNNN kinda attitude for success.

The interview lasted all but 20 minutes with the owner going into the kitchen to ask her daughter when a work trial could be organised, lo and behold the woman who now stood before me was once working in a bar that I used to manage, a mere 16-year-old when I last saw her, now a confident chef with a stake in the  successful coffee shop I was applying to work for. She knew my name, I hers and she remembered the time, over 12 years ago that I and the owners of the pub we used to work grabbed up all the lads and lasses one night and took them out on the town, got very drunk, had an awesome time and probably had a good old dance around too.  This memory had stayed with her as she explained to the owner (her mother) what a good time it was, after much laughing about the past I was offered the trail run for the next day, I shook both of their hands, thanked them for their time and started to walk out of the shop; just before I got to the doors I glanced back, red-faced from laughing so much as I saw both women also red-faced giving me a little friendly wave. “This could be what I’ve been looking for” I thought to myself, “This is fantastic!” as I almost skipped up the road home, remembering the night 12 years ago and laughing out loud and to myself, strangers walking past giving me rather confused looks as I failed to contain my feelings of well-being, elation, happiness, ecstasy, excitement, and joy, I was euphoric!

The next day, no sleep, too nervous, too hyped….. “What happens if I burn that, this, set the place on fire!”, Over 3 years of not working for another was not good for rest but I knew what I had to do. Scrub up, look nice and off I went. I arrived and was immediately started on learning the kitchen; within 15 minutes I was prepping, slicing, cooking and learning, I felt so alive, so right in the kitchen again. Slow to start and making sure I made no mistakes I gained more and more confidence and cooked and help cook the entire lunch section with my new boss. Plenty to still learn and realising I would require some knife time again I looked back on the afternoon with great love and respect. I was told that I was hard-working, good with food, didn’t have to be told twice to get things right and I was a quick learner, well at that point and right up until now I have had a massive smile on my face, I had forgotten how good it is to work with food, how great it is to accomplish working in a kitchen and on the basic level I had forgotten how good getting paid for some hard graft is! This might be it, this might be the time I finally get myself out of this rut, forget the Olympics, forget the landing on Mars this will be MY year if I pull this off.

There are two other people to go through and I do hope there is something wrong with both as this job would mean the world to me, lets just hope they burn everything lol.  I will find out about the job this Monday so if my next blog post is just some kind of text shouting with swearwords mixed in that you read and get a sense that I am happy then I got the job.

Also in my personal news – I am now happy to announce that I am paying child maintenance for my son Seth. Why is this such a good thing? you ask well it is another step forward in the ongoing fight to see my son. On October the 3rd my Ex and I with our legal teams will be back in court and on top of doing everything correct and above board, finding a place to live, sorting out debt, (hopefully) having a job I can now add that I pay CSA on time and the correct amount each and every month. The things in my favour now must be close to the top of where I can get them however I will strive to pile it higher until I can physically do no more.

So that was a little snap shot of what is going on with me right now. So I leave you now with the knowledge that I can only see a slit of the screen as I am grinning far too much to use the computer properly (My excuse if there are spelling mistakes lol)

So for too long I think people who are single have been kinda shunned. I don’t think that this necessarily happens on purpose a lot of the time, I think that it happens because the single person is, well single and interactions between couples is not always something that is shared with others (Although I am sure there are couples that don’t agree but that’s another time, another place and also none of my business)

So why is “the norm” to be with someone and why do I find people from all walks of life think I must have something wrong with me if I enjoy being single? Now a little while ago I wrote about marriage and how it might not be for me, and I guess this is kinda a continuation of sorts from that.

I am currently single out of choice (sounds big-headed but please let me explain). I was with a girl for a year and due to certain things out of our control we decided that splitting up was probably for the best, now this is not a story of how heartbroken I was that I didn’t want to be with anyone else, or that I dived into a huge depression that I have never come out from, no no, I’m not that kinda guy. The previous relationships break up did affect me adversely as I did truly love her but that is not the reason I decide to stay single now, I stay single for several reasons;

Money – now I know this seems shallow and pathetic but I am jobless and pay CSA, between that, rent, food and the odd t-shirt I am flat-out broke 24/7, is that really something alluring the opposite sex? Is it really fair on them to fork the bill or just stay in every time I am around, I think not. However that is not to say that I expect love from money, as I don’t, if I love someone I love them for who they are not what they have.

Second reason (no order to these by the way) is that I am currently in the 19th month of fighting to see my son. This court case will be picked back up in October and to be perfectly frank he is far and beyond a woman in my ranking of things that matter to me, again it would not be fair to the woman to put up with that crud

I like my space, I am really enjoying not having a person to answer to, enjoying not having a woman to tell me no, or yes, to take up my free time with things, whether they be good or bad things. So why would I break that? Plus there are not many women that “get” me anyway. They mostly see my black and white, no-nonsense, once an argument is done its done and forgotten attitude far to annoying to handle, but let’s face it, I ain’t going to change and tbh why should I, I am me.

Now I realise that these examples of why I stay single are very particular to me and also that they seem a little like excuses to not date, especially the fact I sighted that it would not be on for the woman, sounds like complete denial but I have thought about it for many months now and have ruled that out.

So in my mind at least those reasons along with many others is why I stay single. So why then can people start relationships for all the wrong reasons and it is perfectly fine in society but yet when I tell people why I decide to stay single I am ruled out as the insane one?

Now sure I miss the sex, I am human and I love sex! My “fetish” I guess is boobs, some are bums, legs feet etc mine – boobs. But is the lack of sex really enough to get with someone? Is that not just hiring yourself out for sex? I think it is. Now I totally agree with like minded people having some “fun” with no strings attached as it is mutually beneficial but that is to say that each leaves the other after the “arrangement” has been met. The people who do this seem perfectly happy to do this and they get to remain single.

So if this can and does go on, why do I see people getting together, breaking up because of differences then getting back again, then splitting constantly, on a bi monthly rota of stupidity? Why is that perfectly fine to do but my idea of my own space, my own rules and occasionally a bit of fun with a friend wrong? Just seems backwards to me.

So I think I will end this insightful rant into my life with a few words just to clear a few loose ends up. I am not ruling out a relationship but it would have to grow very slowly and be with a person I trust far more than I have ever trusted a previous woman. I am not a person that is just after sex, or to be alone, it’s just that for now at least I feel that being single is the best thing for me, my life and my son. To end this all I would just like to say that just because I flirt a bit does not make me want to bed every person I talk to! (Just sayin’ lol)

Hey guys and girls I had a little break away from the blog as I had court to get ready for and my computer is now fully Linux so getting to grips with that but both of those things will be covered in other posts soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…………………………..

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Marriage eh!?  Techy, geeky be-speckled man like me is talking about marriage? Yea I have been thinking about it and the more I am thinking about it the more I am coming to the conclusion that I don’t think I ever will get married. I came to this conclusion after looking at my life style, my future plans and how all my relationships with a woman to date have ended (Apart from the most recent) in the woman turning bat shit crazy and me legging it away from them like a Usain Bolt of bad relationships.

ImageSo I am thirty one now, rapidly coming on thirty two and it dawned on me that for me to marry someone I would want to be living with them for about 10 years, well at least be going out, then move in, say “Will you marry me?” then get to the point of marriage by about year 10.  That ten year plan leaves me at coming on 42 and that’s if I meet this woman tomorrow!  Now I don’t know about you but I’m not sure at 42+ if I could be bothered to get married, will I have used up my time on this planet to get married? Will I have passed my prime and lost the chance or will I simply be so used to not being attached that the very thought of it will scare me?! I sincerely hope non of the above does happen, it is something playing on my mind, I know I am in no position to do anything at the moment and I know that I would defiantly want to spend many years with a person before I popped the question but at the same time I could not stand to be that person on an over 50’s dating site looking for women, women that are probably just looking for a marriage material type of guy, it is an interesting, although frightening position to be in.

The thing that frightens me the most about this whole thought process of mine is one of, “Will I be alone?” or at least classed as a loner, will I be cast aside from society because I never got married, never even came close? Sure I’ve had plenty of girlfriends but marriage seems to be the norm.Very rarely do you meet with a man or woman that has simply never married, it is far more likely that their partner has passed on or devoiced, even out of the never married group you have a percentage that will have been going to get married when the other passed on, which kinda just leaves that small, almost uncounted percentage like me.

Why do people get married in the first place? Is it through love? or a need or because its good for insurance? My brother got married to his girlfriend because he was a fire-fighter and it made sense, no more or less deserving a reason to do it than “Because you love her/him” I guess but then that comment will no doubt be strongly argued against by people that feel completely different about this ancient ritual that we have.  So what is it that brings two people together to spend the rest of their lives together? I am not sure I get it at all, not sure I truly understand what it is to make that commitment and I am not entirely sure I ever will.

However maybe this ritual of marriage is something that is slowly dying out or is at least something more and more couples do out of financial gain or stability, maybe I am becoming the norm, maybe, just maybe I am the hipster of non marriage?!